Q: What kind of bird works at a construction site?
A: The crane.
Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A: Because it’s too far to walk.
Q: What do you call a funny chicken?
A: A comedi-hen.
Q: What did the sick chicken say?
A: Oh no! I have the people-pox.
Q: Why do hummingbirds hum?
A: Because they can’t remember the words.
Q: What bird is always depressed?
A: A bluebird.
Q: What’s the difference between a fly and a bird?
A: A bird can fly but a fly can’t bird.
Q: What do you call a bird that stars in action movies?
A: Steven Seagull.
Q: What do you call a duck that works in a hospital
A: A health quack-titioner.
Q: What do you call a bird that’s too afraid to fly?
A: Chicken.
Q: What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
A: Cliff.
Q: Why do owls get invited to parties?
A: Because they’re a hoot.
Q: What do you call a duck that’s always telling jokes?
A: A wise quack.
Q: What do you call two birds in love?
A: Tweet-hearts.
Q: Why did the bird go to the library?
A: It was looking for bookworms.
Q: Which bird is always out of breath?
A: A puffin.
Q: When should you buy a bird?
A: When it’s going cheep
Q: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
Q: Why does a flamingo stand on one leg?
A: Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
Q: Why did the bubble gum cross the road?
A: It was stuck to the bottom of the chicken’s foot!
Q: What does a cat call a hummingbird?
A: Fast food.
Q: What do you call a crate of ducks?
A: A box of quackers.
Q: Why did the sick bird go to hospital?
A: To get tweet-ment.
Q: How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
A: With a sparrow-chute.
Q: Which bird never has a bad hair day?
A: A bald eagle.
Q: What are owls’ favourite genre of books?
A: Hoot-dunnits.
Q: What soap do birds use?
A: Dove.
Q: Where do birds invest their money?
A: In the stork market.
Q: What do you call a bird on drugs?
A: A quackhead.
Q: What do you call it when birds cheat at sport?
A: Fowl play.
Q: hat do you call a sick bird?
A: Ill-eagle.
Q: Which birds spend a lot of time on their knees?
A: Birds of prey.
Q: What does the duck eat with its cheese?
A: Quackers.
Q: Why didn’t the bird get the joke?
A: It flew right over its head.
Q: What does a bird say at Halloween?
A; Twig or tweet.
Q: Why do hens lay eggs?
A: Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
Q: How do you get down from an elephant?
A: You don’t – you get it from a duck.
Q: How does a swan eat backwards?
A: It naws.
Q: How do birds find out about tomorrow’s weather?
A: From the feather forecast.
Q: Why don’t birds study for exams?
A: They prefer to wing it.
Q: How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
A: Stick it in the microwave until its Bill Withers.
Q: Why did the amorous Owl stay in on a rainy day?
A: Because it was too-wet-to-woo.
Q: Why don’t they have painkillers in the jungle?
A: Because the parrots eat ’em all.
Q: What bird never hits home runs?
A: A bunting
Q: What do you call a bird that got run over by a lawn mower?
A: Shredded tweet
Q: What do you give a deaf gull?
A: A herring aid
Q: What do ducks watch on TV?
A: Duckumentries.
Q: What did the little bird say to the big bird?
A: Peck on someone your own size.
Q; Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
Q: Where does a peacock go when it loses its tail?
A: A re-tail store.
Q: What bird is with you at every meal?
A: A swallow.
Q: What do you call a bird in the winter?
A: Brrr-d.
Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?
A: A firequacker.
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A: A bird that talks in Morse code.
Q: Did you hear the story about the peacock?
A: It’s a beautiful tail.
Q: What do you call a woodpecker with no beak?
A: A headbanger.
Q: Which birds steal soap from the bath?
A: Robber ducks.
Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a pig?
A: A bird who hogs the conversation.
Q: How was the turkey able to join a band?
A: Because he had his own drumsticks.
Q: What is a bird’s favourite game to play?
A: Hide and beak.
Q: How can you tell when a bird is mad at you?
A: They give you the silent tweetment.
Q: What kind of bird runs the church?
A: A cardinal.
Q: Where do tough chickens come from?
A: Hard-boiled eggs.
Q: Why did the bird tell the other bird to take a shower?
A: Because he smelt fowl.
Q: What do you call birds that are usually locked up?
A: Jail-birds.
Q: How do birds stay in shape?
A: By getting lots of egg-cersize.
Q: Why did the cheap pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?
A: It’s bill was massive.
Q: What is a bird’s dream job?
A: A flight attendant.
Q: What’s a hen’s favourite kind of movie?
A: A chick flick.
Q: Where do you find a peacock?
A: In between two peanuts.
Q: How many birds does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Toucan do it.
Q; How do chickens bake a cake?
A; From scratch.
Q: What kind of bird should you never take to the bank?
A; A robin.
Q; What happens when a duck flies upside down?
A; He quacks up.
Q; What is a seagull’s favourite song?
A: Gulls Just Wanna Have Fun.
Q; What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
A; I hope I didn’t quack any!
Q; What do you call an eagle that can play the piano?
A: Talon-ted.
Q: Why did the turkey refuse dessert?
A: He was stuffed.
Q: What do you call a gull who falls for every joke?
A: Gullible.
Q: What do you say to a rude goose?
A: Go pluck yourself!
Q: Why did the bird lose all its friends for being too big?
A: It was ostrich-sized.
Q: What’s grey?
A: A melted penguin.
Q: What do you call a canary that flies into a pastry dish?
A: Tweetie pie.
Q: What do you call an owl who was just caught committing a crime?
A: A spotted owl.
Q: Why did the gull refuse to share its lunch?
A: It was a little shellfish.
Q: What kind of bird can you buy at the grocery store?
A: A kiwi.
Q: What’s the turkey’s favourite Halloween costume?
A: A gobble-in.
Q: How do penguins make a decision?
A: Flipper coin.
Q: What do you call a very rude bird?
A: A mockingbird.
Q: What do you call a turkey with witty comebacks?
A: A turkey that roasts you.
Q: What do you call a bird who loves to play basketball?
A: A hoopoe.
Q: What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A: A brick layer.
Q: What did the duck say after it went shopping?
A: Put it on my bill.
Q: Why don’t roosters ever get rich?
A; Because they work for chicken feed.
Q: What do you call a turkey the day after Thanksgiving?
A: Lucky.
Q: Why did the bird get a ticket?
A: It broke the law of gravity.
Q: What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?
A: He was catching all the chickens.
Q: What did the mother flamingo do when her chick misbehaved?
A: She put her foot down.
Q: What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
A: He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
Q: What did the gull say to the cat when the alarm clock went off?
A: Kittiwake.
Q: Where do hens stay on holiday?
A: At a chick inn.
